Negativity Vs Criticism
Often times, you will find yourself feeling dejected due to the harsh remarks from others. You might not only feel sadness but also anger about what is said to you. Though there is nothing you can do about what other people will say about you, you are in full control of how you would like to feel about it. If you want to ignore it and cut that part out from your life then you can certainly do so. You can also take everything that is said to heart and fall into depression. This choice is entirely up to you.
Though it may seem like the foremost option to ignore everything that makes you feel despondency is the best option and the latter option to take it to heart only to feel dejection is the worst route to take, I can assure you that the answer is not always that simple. The ideal answer lies hidden somewhere in the middle of the both above mentioned scenarios and it is your job to identify where exactly it is resting. You may also find it sometimes leaning towards the foremost path and sometimes towards the latter path instead of always being in the exact centre. That is because, the source of these harsh words said to you can be negativity aimed to bring you down or it can also be positive criticism meant to elevate you to a even higher place in life. It is important to note that the positive encouragement can sometimes be disguised or at least appear to you as nothing but negativity. This can be due to various reasons such as you being not able to understand the words clearly, the other person not being adept at conveying his intent or lack of mutual trust between you and the other person.
Differentiating Between Negativity & Criticism
In order to identify whether the words spoken to you are negative or positive, you need to observe the source of those words. You can consider it as an in-depth analysis of the information that you have, before actually allowing yourself to be affected by them. A critical analysis of such words can go a long way in either improving your life or sending you in a downward spiral.
In my opinion, it is not hard to do a critical analysis of such comments aimed at you as you are the best judge for yourself. That is because you are not only privy to more information about yourself than anyone else, you are also the only one who can force yourself to do something about what might be wrong on your end. As a reference, here are the three questions you should ask yourself while analysing any such words aimed at you.
What are the words being said?
The first thing you should focus on is what exactly the words being said to you are. Remember that hearing words which you do not want to hear does not make them negative. It might just be that those words are the bitter truth you were afraid to face up to until now. If you can understand that those words are indeed justified and heeding to them would not only bring you benefit but also take you some place better where you actually wanted to go all along, then even though the words were harsh for you to hear, you should formulate a strategy to act upon them at least to some extent and see where it leads you.
Who is saying those words?
Often times, you hear such words from the people around you. The more closer they are to you, the more such words will feel heavier on your heart. However, if you do know the person, you also know hoe much you trust them. You will also know whether they truly care for you or not. Knowing this should help you decide whether that person is just looking out for your best interest at their heart or is just being negative to try to drown you in despair.
One thing to note is that some people can offer you some advice which might be true to them but it will not necessarily be applicable for you. In such cases, the person giving you advice is also looking out for your best interest but the advice is not good for you. You should always analyse the advice first and then the person who gave you the advice to check its credibility.
Is a feasible solution being offered?
A tell-tale sign of someone being negative is that they will try to say harsh words to discourage you, but they will never offer any direct or indirect advice for you to turn things around or improve yourself. You can consider an example where you have become stagnant in your life and there is no growth to be seen. Someone who cares for you will always try to break you from this monotonous routine and encourage you to try new things so you can ascend to a new level in your life, however, a negative person would only point out that you are at a mediocre place in your life. There will be no solution that gives you insight about breaking through that level at all.
Sometimes you can get a solution which is not feasible for you. In such cases, you should try asking questions and raise your concern about why you think this solution will not work for you. The person who is negative will only get annoyed or mock you more but the person who wants you to improve will try to offer you more solutions just so you can improve.
Conclusion
To close things up, I would just like to remind you that no advice to improve yourself will be easy for you to hear and it certainly wont be easy for you to act upon. But, only by going through these hardships will you reach your goal and arrive at a higher level. Once you do make it to the top, you will be glad to have put in the effort to go through the difficulties instead of just giving up before even starting. So, do not be afraid of hard work. If you feel like it is something that should be done, then believe in your judgement and do it no matter how hard it gets.
