There are many times in my life when I have found myself wondering whether I should do something or not. I often procrastinate such things until that decision is made for me by the circumstances themselves. The only thing I can say about such experiences is that they leave you with nothing but regret. Not only do I spend a considerable amount of time contemplating about the actual decision but I also end up with making no decision at all. This inability to act can either lead to the development of imposter syndrome in one’s self as you do not gain the sufficient confidence even if things turn out to be good or it can lead to regret when things do not turn out to be good. In facr, the former case is the one where you are considered lucky because there is atleast some positive to the whole situation. However, the circumstances are rarely that kind to everyone and most of us would only end up with regret. The regret over doing something wrong can be coped with by understanding what you did wrong and how it could be fixed in the future. However, the regret from inaction is not something that is so easily forgotten because, after all, in your heart you did not really do anything wrong. And just because the outcome does not turn out to be the most feasible for you, does not make it your mistake now does it?
No matter what you try to tell to convince yourself about how it was indeed your mistake that you did not avail the opportunity that was presented to you and missed out on so many benefits, it will always be countered by another argument from within you. Maybe it will be that you did not know the future back then or how it could have gone bad as well as it did for some other people etc. The solution is not to figure out how you can blame yourself but to dig even deeper and figure out the root cause. The root cause for you is the fact that you were not ready to take the action. Fixing this will help remove the regret of inaction from your heart.
The Action First Approach
What I recommend you is the approach that has worked for me to not encounter this kind of regret in my life or at least decrease it significantly. Whenever you are contemplating about doing something and weighing out the pros and cons, make your decision based on the cons that are realistic and the ones you actually care about. And then, if you decide that your pros outweigh the cons and you decide to go through with an action, do not let yourself be engrossed in the discussion of pros and cons again. Make it a self-rule to go through with that decision always and deal with the regrets that come with the outcome rather than the regret that comes from cowering away at the last second.
This may seem like a hasty approach but it really works. For example, consider asking a question during your class on the first day. While weighing out the cons, you should consider whether the question is indeed something that resolves your confusion or not. If you consider the fact that people will laugh at your question as a con, then this is a prime example of an unrealistic con. This is not unrealistic because it will never happen, but it is unrealistic because you are assuming that it will happen(and its after effects) even when you are genuinely confused about something and unsure of the exact outcome. In your mind, you will go through a back and forth war about whether you should ask the question that helps you or fear the outcome that may or may never happen. If you can just realize that you should only consider the information you have in your arsenal as the basis for weighing out the pros and cons, you will inevitably come to the right decision. Then comes the second part to stick to it because evn if you know it is the right thing to do, the fear of unknown outcome will not be diminished. In such cases, just know one thing and one thing only. That is the fact that you are making the right decision based on the information that was presented to you and you have not backed down from trying to avail any opportunity. There will never be any regret related to inaction no matter what the outcome may be so you can only just do it.
Conclusion
The simple truth of the matter is that there will always be regret whether you make a bad decision or do not make a decision at all. It will just change form depending on the situation. While not making a decision may seem better than making a bad one, but just because it turned out to be bad in the future, does not make it the wrong one in the past. It was still the right decision for you. If we consider this in the long run, there will be scenarios where you will not take any action in fear of making the ‘bad’ decision but the outcome would have been better for you had you taken the decision earlier. In such cases, you will still end up with regret about not taking the ‘good’ decision. Just remember to make feasible pros and cons and stick to your decision. If it is inaction then it should be inaction but if it is taking action then do not let your decision be waivered.
