It is natural for us to complain whenever something doesn’t play out the way we had expected it or if something comes to distort our accepted way of lifestyle. It is a manifestation of your annoyance at something and is not restricted to age whatsoever: babies complain by crying to convey if they are hungry or if they need to go to sleep while adults complain by critique when they do not like the outcome of any process. However, even though it is something that comes naturally to us, that does not mean that we have mastered it. In fact, you can find many examples from your own life about people complaining to you about things to which you already have a feasible solution for, but you do not utter a word to them because you know that they are not complaining to you for a solution but to just lighten their burden a little. Some people like to complain for the sake of complaining and not to find the underlying root cause for their dissatisfaction. The only problem with this approach is that the number of ears quickly run out when everyone starts to just sit around and complain rather than think of a solution.
Complain But do not annoy others
If someone complains just to vent their anger about something once in a while then the people around him or her would also understand their circumstances and try to be as accommodating as possible to them. However, if this becomes a common occurrence then this simple letting off of some steam becomes a poisonous negativity that starts to affect those around you as well. In other words, your incessant complaining about your dissatisfaction itself becomes an annoyance to those who surrounded you. In the worst case scenario, people brand you as someone who just whines about everything and no longer pay much attention to you to preserve their own happiness in their lives. Just like the boy who cried wolf, your complain about valid issues also gets viewed as dubious and you end up in a situation where you realize that no one listens to you anymore. Therefore, whenever you are complaining about something to someone, make sure that it is not simply just a one-sided affair where you get to vent and move on with your life but rather let the other person become part of the conversation as well and listen rather than just talk. Moreover, if someone has given you their time to hear your complaint then you should also be thankful to such a friend so that they know that their spent time was appreciated.
Complain effectively
In simple terms, complaining in order to get rid of only your annoyance is complaining ineffectively whereas complaining to also seek to fix the underlying thing causing annoyance in the first place is to complain effectively. Although there is nothing wrong with complaining ineffectively in moderation, one has to be mindful about it lest you become labelled as a grumbler. The reason being that this type of complaining can take place anywhere and around anyone regardless of whether or not they have any ability to satiate this particular annoyance. On the other hand, complaining effectively seeks to improve your current situation and should be targeted to only the relevant parties involved. This makes it not just a means to blow off some steam but rather a measure to eradicate the source of your dissatisfaction from its roots.
Another way to look at them both is to consider what you can and what you cannot control in life. For example, if you complain to your peers about the weather everyday then it is complaining ineffectively, but if you complained about a broken window in your office to your manager then it is an effective complain. Both cases showed your annoyance with the effects of weather elements on your daily life. As a general rule of thumb, you should always ask yourself whether your complaining about any particular issue would indeed yield anything or will it just be a complain because things are not going your way? If you keep complaining for the latter case as well, then the value of your complaints will also decrease as there is no demand but bountiful supply of it.
Look at the Bigger picture
As we have just said before, complaining about anything is because of your annoyance about something and as such it offers a very restricted image of what is actually transpiring. As you are naturally likely to be more concerned about yourself rather than any other thing in the world, your complaining also stems from how a particular thing affects you rather than others around you. This lack of understanding of the bigger picture can make you accept solutions that are temporarily effective but might turn into bigger annoyance in the future. Of course, an easy way to deal with it is to consider how the thing that is annoying you will annoy those around you as well, especially those whom you care about because their complaining in the future will only become a source of dissatisfaction for you as well. Doing so can also make your original complaint stronger as it now highlights not just your personal dissatisfaction but rather issues collectively faced by others as well.
As long as you are mindful about what you are complaining and whom you are complaining to, there really should be no problem. The purpose of writing this article is to prompt you to spend some time and think before you actually speak about your dissatisfaction. In some cases, the problem can get solved before you are done with these thoughts and this little patience allows you reap the benefits without any effort. This also allows you to retain the value of your complaints for future as well. Good luck!
