We have all failed at one point or another in our life, and the first step that we had to take to move on from that feeling of dejection was to accept it. Accept that it had indeed happened to us contrary to what we expected and that this is our reality now. This was essential for us to reach to the place where we are at now. Maybe someone reading this has just recently suffered from such a setback, and is still in the process of accepting it. Wherever you might be in life, you are sure to have such experiences under your belt. Having such bad experiences does not necessarily reflect anything bad about yourself, but rather they should be considered as part of your own evolution. Even in toddlers, you see them falling multiple times before they begin walking, and then running and then running even faster for the rest of their lives to reach to the same position where we are today. We all accept the failures along the way, but acceptance should not transform your failures to something that they are not. Many people, in their effort to move on from failures, become too accepting of their setbacks. Instead of viewing them as sources of learning for your future, they see them as something trite and commonplace. They not only derive no meaning or wisdom from their failures, but they also become so impervious to them that they set out on new journeys to seek failure rather than aiming for the unattainable high mountain. This is the trap of acceptance which yields false contentment.
We often hear people around us say that “it is okay to fail!”. In fact, I have myself said that you should not be afraid of failing, and that you should not let that fear be the reason for either never starting or giving up in the middle. But, it is only okay to fail as long as you recognize failures for what they are i.e. deviation from what was expected based on several reasons that need to be improved upon in the next attempt. They are always meant to produce some disappointment in us, or leave us disheartened, but they are never meant to completely break our spirits. Just as it is bad to let them break our hopes and dreams, it is equally, if not more, bad to let them have no effect on you whatsoever. If you are not used to something, then it truly is a deviation that will be a thorn in your eyes, but if you become content and accept it as part of the process, then you have no reason to derive any meaning from it. You have no emergency to correct your mistakes. You have no need to work harder the next time around, as you, either consciously or unconsciously, not only expect to fail again, but are also prepared to move on from it like before. Although this type of contentment prevents you from giving up on your hopes and dreams, it also takes away the most beneficial aspect about failures from you i.e. to learn and become better from your mistakes. Without this benefit by its side, failures are nothing to be accepted. They should be avoided at all costs as they only serve as simple obstructions in your path to achieving your goal.
It isn’t just about failures as well. This is true for any other activity as well. Consider, for example, a morally unacceptable act of lying to someone. If you are an honest person who had to lie in a very specific situation, then that lie will not simply be forgotten by your consciousness. It will keep reminding you of its existence until you eventually decide to address it by making some form of amendments. If you do try to neglect it, then it will gradually build up to have more and more repercussions for you; to help you realize that you have done something bad which does not sit well with how you view yourself internally. On the other hand, if someone is dishonest to begin with, then he will habitually lie according to the situation in order to benefit himself. The thing that takes an honest person and turns him or her into a dishonest one is the very same acceptance. If you manage to neglect your one lie for so long that you eventually accept it, and do not make any amends for it, then you accept this behaviour from yourself from then on. Next time, you will lie for something even bigger, but eventually become okay with that too as it is inline with how you view yourself. Its recurrence will only be a matter of time rather than of circumstances. The acceptance of a bad habit perpetuates and promotes not only itself, but also other similarly terrible habits in your personality. Thus, acceptance of one morally reprehensible act will send you spiralling down the same path filled with even more vices. Each day would make it more difficult for you to actually get out of this spiral, so it is better to become aware of whether you are just accepting things or whether you are also become content with them, even if those things be harmful to you. The sooner you make this distinction, the better it is for you in the long run. Good luck!
