I have often said that happiness and sadness are both relative terms. And that one should seek for contentment in life so he can accept both the good and bad aspect of it. However, this is simply an abstract thought with little use to it unless someone invests their own time to think about it, and find or attach a meaning that is representative of their own life experiences. So, rather than telling you to just find the elusive “contentment,” I want to discuss the things that are quite visibly tilting your life towards discontentment. I am not saying that everyone will be experiencing the same things in life, but I am pretty confident that you can identify with at least one or two of these traits that I am about to mention below. Based on my experience, everyone is actually very close to find contentment in their own life, but most people do not realize it on their own. Most people think that just because they still have many things that they want to achieve in life, they cannot settle and be content just yet. This is a misunderstanding as being content does not mean that you should not want any other thing and rather opt for an ascetic life. On the contrary, being content allows you to view your “wants” as something luxurious over your “needs”. If you have many wants in life then that means that your needs are being fulfilled. This is a cause not for giving up your struggle but rather to keep going forward without fear of abandonment due to frustration and disappointment.
1. The False Air of Supremacy
Have you ever heard of the phrase, “There’s always a bigger fish in the sea” being thrown around as an adage in movies or TV shows? This can be inferred to understand what I mean by this false air of superiority that many people seem to have. For some reason, most people tend to think that they are special. And not only that, they think that they are superior to others around them even when there is contrary evidence right in front of their eyes. Maybe it originates from that one childhood experience where they were indeed the smartest in the room, but people fail to realize that the world is bigger than just that one room, and even that room has constantly been changing with the advent of time.
Time and time again, this false belief will be shattered in front of your eyes, and the most common response would be to grow unhappy at things external to you, rather than taking a look at your internal misconceptions. Often times, the same people attribute their lack of motivation as the culprit for this unfortunate encounter with reality, and use phrases like “I could have done it if I really tried,” or “There just was no point in me to make that much effort.” I do not say that everyone is not special, but I do say that everyone is indeed equal. This is a cause for celebration because no one in the world is also better than you. I believe that by going with this belief, you can achieve a lot more in life and avoid useless disappointment that weighs you down.
2. The Lust for The Next Big Thing
The very same phrase i.e. “There’s always a bigger fish in the sea” can be used again to understand this point as well. As humans, we are inherently prone to want the best things in life. No matter what we do, if possible, we would want to be the absolute best at it with no competition in sight. This, unfortunately, makes us miss out on the things that we do have for the promise of better things that we could “perhaps” get further down the line. This is just like a fisherman who catches a fish but decides to let it go in hopes that an even bigger fish would sense no danger and bite the hook. Similarly, some people forget what they have already and get tunnelled vision with only what they want next. This sets them up for a life that is full of chasing after things that will never be enough.
3. Everything Bad Is For Me Only
Your thoughts govern your mind. A collection of happy thought leads you to believe that you are doing very good in life, whereas a focus on a bad thought alone makes you think that you are doing a lot worse in life. This is true even when the both scenarios has no apparent change difference between them. It is just your focus on any particular type of thing that makes you experience everything else from that very same lens.
Most people who you almost always see as sad and gloomy have a ‘Victim Victor mentality. They believe that everything bad happens only to them for some reason and the cause of every failure in their life is because they were a victim to that something unfortunate. Not only is their focus not on their role in experiencing that setback, but they also never truly move away from those negative emotions. As such, they are always thinking about the negative aspects about their life. This makes them feel down and under in most of their life experiences, and they are also responsible for pulling in others around them under the same spell.
Conclusion
Being happy or sad is your own choice in life. Good and bad things will always exist, and it is pointless to hope for one without expecting the other in some shape or form. That doesn’t mean that the “bad” will take away from the “good” or vice versa. In fact, I believe that the experience of “bad” only highlights the benefits of the “good” in your life that you might have grown too accustomed with over time. Nevertheless, I hope that you find your happiness in life and keep spreading positivity, rather than negativity, to everyone around you. Good luck and keep on going!
